Media Traumatizes Middle Schoolers

A general categorization of teenagers, whether its right or wrong, is lazy, trying to hard, self-centered, narcissistic, rebellious, socially sensitive, forward moving, focused more about sex, drugs and their appearance rather than their education or pretty much anything else.

To clarify what I am about to write is not intended to make you feel sad, sappy or make me seem like an typical, angsty, teenager sad because I never fit in. Oh please, judge me how you will but this is a story about discovery and learning.

When I was a kid I was never the “pretty”, “popular ” or “smart” girl. I never fit into any of the stereotypical boxes. At first I didn’t feel bothered by it until I went to middle school. Girls thought boys had cooties, but I just wanted to have fun and run around. But after a few months in middle school, I realized that being a fun and energetic person didn’t matter anymore. Instead, how you looked and acted defined whether you were cool or not, that is to say, whether you would fit into the social scene. I found myself confused about why I could not be as pretty or skinny as the girls in magazines or the popular girls at my middle school. I was unsure why I cared so much but slowly I found myself conscious of every action I made and what I wore. I felt so vulnerable and self-conscious. I found some people that were just as weird as me and we became friends, a group of weirdo’s that didn’t care. But regardless of how passionate I became about singing, writing and art, I still heard this little voice in my head -I know it’s cliche- but a voice that was aware and judgmental of what I ate or wore. It is still a struggle for me to be comfortable in my own body and with myself in general. This was incredibly difficult for me and the media exasperated my insecurities.

I remember being so obsessed with Teen Vogue. I wished I could look like the models  and could act like the teenage girls on TV shows because my prepubescent self thought that that was how a teenager was supposed to look and act. I felt so discouraged and deflated. I thought I was the only exception to the rule. All my friends had guys that liked them and seemed so confident. I honestly just wanted to be cool. When I actually became a teenager, it was hard, but I eventually found that the media’s interpretation of a teenager was not as realistic as it was made it be. No matter how fun it is to gossip with your friends about attractive boys or how difficult it is to look at beautiful girls knowing you will find yourself comparing yourself to them, I gave up. It wasn’t worth the emotional pain. I decided to try to remove myself from the media. I give up Facebook because it did not make me feel good about myself when my mind was corrupted by mindless scrolling. I knew it was unnecessary to compare myself to other people with their “perfect” looking profile pictures. Instead of obsessing I just focused on my passions. I did a lot of writing (probably mostly super angsty stuff), sang, wrote my own songs which let me express my thoughts and let me question who I am instead of relying on the media to define me. I was fortunate enough to travel to six out of the seven continents. Traveling really expanded my understanding of what it meant to be a person. I was exposed to other cultures and ways of life that were less reliant on the media. The less I worried about my appearance and focused more on having fun and exciting experiences, the less “becoming cool” was a priority. That is not to say that I still don’t have those days where I feel like the ugliest person alive but I’m convinced that it is my unconscious brain, still traumatized from media that I consumed in my middle school years, talking.

I have found no matter how hard you try to run from the Media or pretend it does not influence you, unfortunately it always will. The thoughts you have, something someone said to you or a stupid Ad about weight loss in the corner of your screen that your eyes scan, all adds up to the way you see yourself. Once all of that is ingrained in your brain and you have started to believe, it is hard to break loose. For example, recently I was on buzzfeed (shh its my guilty pleasure) looking for a fun quiz to take when I found “What do guys find most attractive about you?” or “What kind of sexy are you? ” It was interesting to see how taking a fun quiz becomes invaded by quizzes more influential to the way a teenage girl will act or dress a certain way for a guy. This is more harmful than girls think. It has the same negative impact as flipping through a Teen Vogue Magazine. This is harmful to our self esteem and the way we see ourselves. I don’t think teenagers need any more help feeling confused, or having low self esteem! We are already PMSing, hormonal, adult-like people. Why do our actions and appearances need to be based off artificial people or this concept of the “perfect” teenager. Being a teenager is all about figuring yourself.